Christian “OPWD” Rozolis
Walt Disney came up with the Christian Rozolis character during the early 50’s, during the original plans for the very first Disneyworld. At the time, the park was slated to be built not in Florida, but in Oklahoma. However, preliminary tests revealed an unusual, inappropriate response to the Rozolis character exhibited by many male Oklahomans. The character was shelved, and the park was relocated to the now famous Orlando location.
Today, Christian Rozolis – renamed “Rozo” – has experienced a rebirth, coming out of storage at Disney Cryogenic Facilities ™ and becoming a huge hit in the Midwest region. Something about his boyish charm and surprising athleticism has struck a chord among the public, and Rozo has gone on to become a key member of numerous high profile organizations, most notably the Men’s Competitive Flying Disc Association at Northwestern University. His success as a character extends to the flying disc field, where he is most famous for using his ridiculous abilities (and, again, his boyish charm) to embarrass his opponents, notably causing the early and abrupt retirement of one Johnny Bansfield. He is known on the team for sending lonely snapchats from across the country, and making judgmental looks at drunk people during parties. He also really likes McDonalds, possibly because he and the hamburger patties were both frozen in storage for decades.
- Written by: Kyle Condron