Height: 5’8”
Major: Neuroscience, with a minor in Art History
Chest Hairs: 3
Favorite word: Poignant
Watermelons smashed: “That’s private and you know that.”
Josh “oh okay” Venegas is everywhere. You can find him on the o-line, hanging out with Stu Pickles, on the d-line, wandering the streets of Evanston looking for statues to yell at, chilling with Stu Pickles, or even in the end-zone dropping crucial passes. Unfortunately, even though Josh is everywhere, we just don’t know him better than the guy that smashed a watermelon (but with consent!). Fortunately, I am here to shed some light on the elusive and mysterious Venegas.
Josh Venegas was born in a small town called Wixom, Michigan in 1993. Not much is known about his childhood, other than that in 3rd grade, he wrestled a pig for his school’s talent show and lost; much of his anger stems from this incident. The rest of his childhood is a blur, although archeologists claim that during this time Josh also enjoyed watching Harrison Ford through a webcam, and consuming an unhealthy amount of neufchatel cheese.
Flash forward to the Northwestern era of Josh’s life. Maybe-One-Day-He’ll-Be-A-Dr. Venegas came to Northwestern having never known what a frisbee is, or even what the word “ultimate” means. However, that didn’t deter him from quickly becoming a presence on Northwestern’s C-team, and eventually, Bolt. This year, Josh found himself on NUT, and when he found out, he immediately celebrated by “going right back to studying”. When he’s not studying, however, Josh is busy being NUT’s secret weapon. He lays out more than Patricia Krentcil, cuts deeper than a girlfriend mocking your hopes and dreams, and is better at defense than the entire 2014 Chilean Men’s National Team. Josh is the Renaissance Man of NUT, offering amazing plays on both the o-line and d-line. He brings so much energy to the program that his excitement on the field is palpable, even if he always has a look on his face that looks like he just learned to tell time after trying to learn for years, but then also just realized that he was ten minutes late.
Expect big things from Josh in the years to come. He’s going to be one of the greatest players in NUT history, and scholars everywhere predict that in the next two years he will score at least every point, win games off of intimidation alone, and that his heart will grow four times larger (both metaphorically and literally).
Written by Peter Pierdinock