The Kazakhstani Wonder, Arseniy Minasov hails from Almaty, Kazakhstan. It is believed
that in his home town he is referred to as “Черный жеребец” which roughly translates as “black
stallion.” Those close to him will tell you that Arseniy has smiled only four times in his life, mostly
because the only things that bring him happiness are the pain of others and Russian snow
storms. Although in the U.S. he goes by the name Arseniy, his ability to speak four different
languages and extensive knowledge of hand to hand combat suggests that he may be serving a
greater purpose.
On the field, Arseniy is a cutter with frightening speed and can change directions quick
enough to break the ankles of a two year old purebred cheetah. If you lose sight of him, just look
for the vapor trail his body leaves behind as he cuts through the air like an SR-71 Blackbird on a
cool February evening. He possesses hands stickier than an S.T. grenade and stamina more
enduring than the Battle of Stalingrad. Those unfortunate men who are tasked with marking
Arseniy are only successful at his mercy, unfortunately the “black stallion” vowed at birth to take
his own life before ever offering an enemy mercy.
Benito Mussolini once said, “Democracy is beautiful in theory; in practice it is a fallacy.”
What most people don’t know is that the original translation of the quote is “Defending against
Arseniy is beautiful in theory; in practice it is a fallacy.”
Written by Evan Nixon