Ian “Falckbot” Falck
Stats:
Height: 6’1” (or 2” or something, honestly I never remember)
Throws: Consistently legendary
Dropped Pulls in tournament games: >0
Handling skill: Insane
Passes Re-Captcha: No
CPU: Intel® Core™ i9-13900KS Processor (36M Cache, up to 6.00 GHz)
GPU: NVIDIA GeForce RTX 4090Ti with proprietary disc-tracing capabilities
RAM: 32G DDR5 – Can run team coordination programs, disc calculations, and a virtual machine for handling ISP processes simultaneously
ROM: Western Digital 3TB M.2 drive – enough to keep the entire ultimate rulebook accessible any time he needs to utterly destroy an opposing foul or travel call
Power Source: Pure love for the game and high fives, mostly. Also two AA batteries (not included with purchase of unit).
Coming from so close by (Chicago, IL), it’s surprising that the delivery time on this unit has been a whopping 19 years (ordered by the NUT elders way back in 2003). The shipping cost was high (approximately 1 NU tuition) but goddamn has he paid it back in handling. Since he stepped onto the field Ian has been a force to be reckoned with – demolishing marks with ease and breaking ankles so hard he sometimes breaks his own. Programmed to mimic Sam, the two of them are an unstoppable force wading through any defending team.
His robotic consistency in the handler space is a testament to excellent build quality, but also incredible programming and a well trained neural net trained on an 8-year data set of competitive ultimate, Ian has put in the work time and again to become a formidable force on the field. Though his programming has yet to be updated to include social events, Ian’s off-field skills are well tuned – always hyping up his teammates and keeping the team moving forward.
Off the field, Ian also plays frisbee as a practice player on Union. He also can be found podding with his Union friends. Off of that field, Ian also spends time visualizing frisbee plays and playing mental frisbee against himself. He also occasionally showers. No but seriously, the man lives and breathes frisbee. He’s also smart as hell, absolutely gliding through one of the top high schools in the country before rolling up to NU, looking at ISP and thinking “yeah, that’ll be fun.”
Jokes aside, Ian is cracked as a player and teammate and is always looking to bring his teammates up alongside him. Can’t wait for the next four years.
Falckbot’s full code repo: https://github.com/tmcclintock/FrisPy
Bio by Zig