- Name: Bharat Iyer
- Age: old
- Maturity: young
- Height: Tall enough to sky you
- Weight: ???
- NBA team: Whichever team LeBron is on
- Position: “It’s a spectrum, not a binary”
- Superpower: consistently showing up 30 minutes late for a 50 minute Econ lecture with a box of food and spilling it everywhere
- Number of Tournaments attended: One or two more than his number of Spring Breaks attended
This snaggledtoothed jackrabbit senior from Pittsburgh brought his city’s tradition of sporting L’s to Northwestern. Bharat “The Franchise” Iyer was born July of 1995, when this broad-shouldered fiend sprang from the loins of the Ganges screaming “Boiiiiiiiiii”. From the moment Bharat set foot in Evanston, IL., NUTHOS has never been the same.
A common appearance on teammates’ list of top 5 weirdest NUTs, Bharat’s athletic potential has become a legend amongst NUTHOS. A vertical just short of 36 inches lead to dunk highlights all over the midwest and his sky-high knee strides allow for constant dynamic stretching wherever he travels. On rare tournament appearance, the cereal-eating vegetarian can sighted aggressively snapping and jeering from the sidelines, and can be identified with his signature mating call: “Brothaaaaaaaaaaa!”
But in spite of a decorated 4-year career on Bolt, Bharat has graduated to bigger and better things. Don’t be fooled by his questionable decisions on the field or his abusive tendencies towards his poor pledge son (me) – Bharat is as financially savvy and educated as they come. He will be repping NUT on the west coast next year, hopefully making less head shaking mistakes for his prestigious firm than he did as an ultimate player on Bolt. What he has given to this program will be unforgettable, and his spirit will live on in the hearts of NUTs forever.
Written by: Jon Huang