As you read this, Kenneth decides to throw an upfield backhand (the kid throws often, he actually might be).
He first pauses to consider the shape and direction of the throw, before deciding that it will probably look very similar to the hundreds of throws he’s completed this spring over his at-least-four-hours-per-day throwing challenge performance.
Kenneth’s hips shift to the left, preparing for a short pivot. Kenneth probably read a blog post about the exact distance of the optimal pivot and is now practicing that exact distance. Aside from being an Ultiworld and r/ultimate regular, he has read every single post ever published on Bruns’s, Yngve’s and Champe’s blogs.
As the neurons are firing, telling his left leg to step out, Kenneth reflects on how far he has come since his first conditioning session with NUT, which left him finishing at least 10 seconds slower than everyone else each rep and still throwing up in Ed’s car on the way home.
Kenneth’s left leg leaves the ground, allowing us enough time to admire Kenny’s rectecs, though they did not help him track the one huck thrown to him all season, which Kenneth dropped without a defender in sight.
Kenneth finally moves into a full pivot, ready to throw a backhand. By this point, BOLT’s scrimmage has ended and the rest of the players have moved into an upline drill. Kenneth’s upline defense is pretty good (he got an upline D on the last point of our season so I guess that means something), therefore he doesn’t mind missing out.
Below is an actual-speed video of Kenneth throwing a backhand. Make sure you are seated comfortably and have snacks ready, it’ll take longer than you think.
Here are some fast facts in case you get bored while watching (Thomas once asked if it would be faster to take a nap or watch Kenneth throw a backhand):
Height: shorter than you think
Weight: “145 pounds of asian kid, running through them” -KX (referring to helpless upline defenders)
Speed: improving
Aspires to be: cross between Rubin and Bob Liu
#1 on Speed Dial: either Bif or a really annoyed Hair
Position on top5 weird: probably 6
Instruments: tuba
Go-to Denny’s order: basic Grand Slam with water
Enjoys eating at Plex with: Jevons
Written by Alex Rubin