Disclaimer: Jevons refused to honor his promise for an interview (honestly not that surprising)
Height: 1 Metric Jevons
Weight: 1 Metric Jevons (1.4 after a large meal at Plex)
Likes: Plex, Elmo, League of Legends, (Free) Bienen Concerts, The Chainsmokers, Plex, Trolls™, Plex, Peer pressure, Exploring, Plex, Alvin and the Chipmunks (in theory), Plex, Plex, Adventures, Plex.
Dislikes: Parties, Bad Music, Climbing Shoes, Peer pressure, Roommates, Questions, things that aren’t Plex.
Siuzy/Peter or Cool/Ok: Not sure, but probably cool/ok
Drinking the East Dakotan water has blessed Jevons with blistering speed, and perhaps the strangest taste in music Northwestern has ever seen. The Alvin and the Chipmunks Happy Birthday YouTube link on Josh Venegas’ timeline was just the beginning. A car ride filled with what Jay Valdillez described as “classic chain smokers and Justin Bieber, some unexpected hits from Alvin and the Chipmunks, and the reggae version of Adele’s Hello” is a microcosm of all the great things that Jevons has brought to NUT in his first year with the team (minus almost killing Joe during a construction adventure, that’s not so great.)
Since the graduation of Kyle Scott Condron following the 2016 season, NUTHOS had been scrambling to select and train a suitable replacement when Jevons Liu fell right into the program’s lap as a transfer student from NYU. Metro Least competition had not been allowing the speedster to live up to his potential, as the region’s throws didn’t even approach the speed of sound (the lower limit of Bif throwing hard).
Jevons arrived on campus and immediately stood out, leaving rookies in the dust on Deering and easily securing Hair’s old place in the Top 5 Weird rankings. Leadership was unsure whether a player with lightspeed travel capabilities would be a bane (messing up the timeline) or boon (really really fast) to the program, but Jevons made NUT in hopes that the other Great Lakes region teams would surrender after watching him sprint in warmups.
Sporting trademark goggles to prevent his eyeballs from falling out of his head when he shatters the sound barrier, Jevons is responsible for each and every one of the noise complaints NUT received this spring at Trienens. He has been known to reach speeds well over several 150s per practice, but only when yelled at by Champe.
A regular on the team highlight reels, Jevons is the definition of a game-changer. His unreal speed allows him to beat any defender (or just phase through them, who knows) on his way to the end zone, while chipping in plenty of hand blocks and tipped passes in addition to shutting down his man on the other end.
Expect big things from Plex’s biggest fan in the coming years as Jevons will learn to integrate the myriad usages of time travel to his game sooner rather than later.
Written by Kenneth Xuan