Jake “JakeClady” Clady hails from Kenosha, Wisconsin. It is said that every Kenoshian is a Clady, but not every Clady is a Kenoshian. Kinda like how every square is a rectangle but not every rectangle is a square. But isn’t that generalizing squares? I feel like squares are more unique and calling them rectangles is insulting. They have a unique identity and should be treated as their own shape. Wisconsin is weird.
JakeClady is the most accomplished JakeClady to ever come out of Kenosha. JakeClady has made many memorable plays in his rookie year, such as setting a bonecrunching (illegal) pick in his first ever frisbee practice, hitting the defender so hard he broke his own hand. JakeClady was single for a total of 32 seconds all freshman year; the time it took for him to go from the 3rd floor of Elder to the 2nd floor after breaking up with his old girlfriend. JakeClady’s most famous feature is his insane stamina, both on and off the field. Both Bolt players and his roommate can attest to his endless energy, which allows him to perform at a high level for a long long long time.
Written by Shu Han